Different approaches to child safety

• Mother: Gunjan Amrit Nam Kaur
• Father: Jattinn Kochhar

Gunjan is a Delhigirl. Eight yearsago before having her second child, a thought raced through her head. “I told my family that if this was a girl child, I would not bring her up. I had seen and experienced too much, and as a mother I wanted to shield my daughter.” Gunjan, however, is bringing up two beautiful and confident children who were encouraged early on ‘how to tackle the city while staying safe’. “I understood that you cannot live in fear,” she says. “I empowered my children. My husband and I spoke to them about safety and their rights to say yes or no. We are in constant dialogue about everything,” she says.

“We don’t want them to have fearful lives.....we encourage them to speak, live, and experience while being safe. The basic rules about safety apply and the fact that Jattinn is a well-known designer, hasn’t prevented them from enjoying life. We keep them real,” she says. “Of course what helps is we live in a joint family,” pitches in Jattinn. “There is always someone with the children. And in case we both are out, my parents are very hands-on with the children,” he explains.

• Mother: Dalvinder Kaur
• Father: Gulab Singh

Dalvinder Kaur says, “Safety, safety, safety....that is my concern 24x7 for my six-year-old daughter,” as she rushes through her morning chores so that she makes herself available for her child when she comes back from school by early afternoon.“There is homework, skating classes, dinner, and of course the evening bath and mandatory tucking into the bed. I do it all. No maid or help is entrusted with any child-related work,” she says. Nowhere does Dalvinder afford herself a break or a minute to catch her breath. “I have been on this mother wheel for 52,560 hours now,” she laughs, and adds, “I can’t remember the last time I went to watch a movie alone in a theatre.”

She says, “I can’t trust anyone with my child. I have even taken her along for client meetings. My mother and husband are the only ones who I am confident and comfortable with when it comes to handling the routine and needs of my child.” She says she is no exception. “All mothers do it. Delhi today is that unsafe. And yes, the gender doesn’t matter anymore. For the perpetrator of crime, it’s just a question of opportunity and confidence that he/she can get away with it. So we need to be vigilant always.”

• Mother: Rekha
• Father: Sunil

Ma is coming home to visit her devotees. But this very special celestial guest has brought for Rekha a set of problems. “I have put my children under virtual house arrest,” she says. Rekha works from 6 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., taking a break during the afternoon for a couple of hours to be with her school going children. Speaking about her latest worry, Rekha explains, “The pandal which has been put up in the playground for children exposes them to migrant population. They are at an increased risk of molestation, and physical and sexual abuse.

“When children from the middle or upper middle class come to the playground they are under the constant supervision of maids or someone from home. Our children don’t have that safety net. Recently a four-year-old child was lured and raped while she was playing near her house. So when the children were not safe a few feet away from their home, wouldn’t the parents worry?” she says. Rekha and her husband take turns to be with their children. “We ensure that they are with either of us constantly. Even though my husband’s two brothers live with us, we make sure that the time they spend with them alone is as little as possible. Going to the neighbours’ house alone is a strict no” says Rekha.